By Redacted

Preface

I’m no security pro, I’m not claiming to be one. This is a quick and dirty guide. Send all your hate mail to moot@4chan.org.

The guide was written so I can look like a badass drug expert on the internet. Everything written below the preface is false and written for comedic relief. Drugs are bad, I have never done drugs, and neither should you.

Use your own discretion to decide how you want to space out (or not) these steps. Use your favorite search engine to learn more about the terms/software I mention.

0.

Find a laptop that is used, cheap, and old (Core 2 Duo/Pentium M types). It needs to be something you won’t miss. Buy it in meatspace. Talk to your grandma about purchasing a new computer and take her old shitty HP. Search craigslist for a virus-ridden dead-hinged Dell for $50, or find a business unloading X41’s. This shouldn’t be too hard tbh. Sanitize the machine by removing the Hard drive(s) and reset the BIOS.

1.

Download Tor, then download TAILS through Tor.

Overwrite a flash drive with the TAILS image. Test booting the laptop from it. Utilize the nifty features like spoofing the MAC address/Windows 8 themes. DO NOT FUCKING CONNECT THE MACHINE TO ANY NETWORK THAT YOU USE, OR PLAN ON USING!

2.

Take your laptop out to lunch. Order some food. Boot TAILS, configure your system, and connect to Tor. Obtain the web-address for your favorite drug market.

Connect to IRC and ask someone. Honestly there is a good subreddit for this at r/DarkNetMarkets. Ask lainchan.org. Now, create your market accounts.

Write down the BTC address the market generates for you. Also search around for a Tor based BTC tumbler. “Grams Helix” is pretty good.

3.

Obtain used cash. Not fresh bills from the bank.

4.

Install an application on your phone that generates temporary phone numbers. Never speak on the phone. Contact a BTC seller on localbitcoins.com or craigslist.

When you buy large amounts of BTC, they like to ask what you want them for. Sellers are BTC hobbyists, don’t assume they are suspicious of you. IF the seller is an ass and insists you tell them your life story, find another seller.

Before you meet the seller, get some lunch at another tasty place. Boot TAILS, Configure your system and connect to Tor. Generate a BTC address from Grams Helix and write it down on a piece of paper.

Have the BTC seller transfer to this address. After some internet magic your market’s address will have fresh and clean BTC.

Destroy the paper BTC addresses.

5.

Learn how to use PGP encryption. ALWAYS communicate with sellers via PGP. A good seller will have their public key listed. Do not use a fake name, PO Box, or any address that you don’t have permission to ship to. Doing unusual shit is suspicious as fuck. Always use Federal mail. A warrant is required to open mail traveling through the USPS. Unless you are ordering something smelly (weed) or packed by a retard (read reviews), the mailman won’t know. Start out with something that has no smell, and a small physical footprint. I’ll recommend MDMA. NEVER buy from outside your country, customs will fuck you in the ass.

Remember, using Tor is not illegal in the USA. Nobody suspects what you are doing. Worst case scenario just keep your mouth shut, you never ordered that package wtf?

God bless America and everyplace else.