A guide to shenanigans and fun things to do when the world’s asleep

Remember the cardinal rules of night ops:

1. Only play when you know you’ll succeed.
2. Only carry what you need. Don’t carry ID.
3. If operating with friends, practice easy things as a group before doing risky things.
4. When in doubt, abort the mission and go home.
5. If you’re in danger, drop whatever you’re holding and run.
6. Prepare before you leave, plan what you’re doing and don’t leave home without your brain.

So, you want to do fun things at night of questionable legality? Perhaps you’re an aspiring pentester, and you want to get some experience in infiltrating past people, or maybe you’re going to try some urban exploration. Maybe you played a lot of Metal Gear and now you’re wondering if it works in real life. Or maybe you’re just bored, and you just want to break stuff or steal things, to each their own.

When venturing out at night, it’s important to recognize that you’re fundamentally putting yourself at risk, especially if what you’re doing is illegal. There are all kinds of things that could happen, you could be harassed by police, you could be jumped by thieves, or if you’re doing some kind of stealth mission, you could be discovered. As such, it’s important to take what you’re doing seriously, and to not leave home without your brain. My friends and I have been practicing night ops for several years. This document is a rough outline of how we organize ourselves and how we handle ourselves during a mission.

Missions are generally assigned ranks based on their difficulty and threat model – the highest being an S-Rank mission, the lowest being a D-Rank. People without experience should only attempt lower-ranked missions, until they understand how to function as a team. Before embarking on a mission, ask yourself these questions:

• “Do I understand all the forces at play in what I am attempting?”
• “Can the people in my team handle the mission?”
• “Do I have all the supplies and information I need?”

If you can say “yes” to all of those questions, then you can proceed.

Without further ado, here are some suggestions for fun missions you could try, or you could make your own!

D-Rank Missions

Play the “Cars” game. Get from point A to point B without being seen. This includes people on the street, people in houses, and people in cars. Wear dark clothing and try for absolute stealth. If you are seen three times, the game is over, stop sneaking and go home, because it’s possible that one of those three people might have called the police on you. This makes a good team-building exercise with a relatively low risk.

Go dumpster diving. Wear thick jeans and boots, carry a flashlight and a small razor for slicing bags. The proper posture for getting stuff out of a dumpster is not to dive inside, rather lean in on your waist, like a teeter-totter. The best places to hit are bakeries and supermarkets for food, or tech outlets for things like cables, and the occasional TV that you might be able to fix.

Relatively low-risk. If you’re stopped by police, drop your razor and light in the bin, and say that you’re moving and were just gathering boxes. Some dumpsters may be locked, requiring some lockpicking skills.

Vandalize something. Hate someone? Pour sugar in their gas tank, or key their car. Smash pumpkins on Halloween. Place fireworks in things you want to blow up. The possibilities are endless, just don’t get caught.

C-Rank Missions

Urban exploration. This will probably require some lockpicking skills – learn how and practice before attempting this. Some vacation hotspots:

• the tallest building in your town
• underground tunnel
• rooftops of apartment buildings
• university campuses
• subway systems
• abandoned buildings
• warehouses and factories
• construction sites

You may encounter squatters, police, or other unruly people when exploring, so always dress as if you belong in the place you’re exploring. A reflective vest or a lanyard and badge can give the psychological effect that you might have some sort of reason to be where you are, even if you don’t.

Abandoned buildings are good places to practice graffiti.

B-Rank Missions

Make a drug deal. Take a friend with you and head downtown. Try to score your drug of choice from people who look like they might be dealers. Be wary of people who might try to lure you and jump you, never give someone money before you see the product. Look out for cops, it helps to recon the area a bit before approaching anyone to observe people’s behaviours, and sniff out any would-be undercover stings. Definitely only to be attempted with someone you trust at your side, who won’t leave you hanging in a tense situation.

A-Rank Missions

Graffiti a public place. Dress inconspicuously, and decide what colors and tools you’re going to use before you head out. Travel light, and don’t be afraid to split the work into multiple nights, if you think you can’t carry everything in one pass, or if you think you can’t finish by morning. If you can, try to conceal your paint, in a bag, or possibly putting that spray can in a chip bag or Pringles tube. It can help to bring a friend with you to serve as a lookout.

If you’re bombing a trainyard, and have to paint near tracks, be forewarned of the “suction” effect that can come from passing trains – if you hear a train coming, get as far away from the track as possible, and lay down/hold on to something if you can.

S-Rank Missions

Steal something important, take revenge, or otherwise get creative. I’m sure you can think of something. Use your best judgment. Remember to say safe, the penalties of failure can be severe. Make sure everyone in your unit is experienced, reliable and trustworthy – one weak link can cause the whole operation to fail. That said, have fun, shadow hide you.